It seems as if it were just yesterday that my doctor looked at me and said, “Congratulations, your pregnant”. I recall vividly the expression of happiness that came across my husband’s face while I was having an inner moment of overwhelming joy. Already having a 5 year old son, we were both excited about the idea of expanding our family.
We let three months pass before we decided to share the news
with family and friends as wanted to ensure that we were in the “safe zone”.
Well, upon sharing the news, it was met with more questions than
congratulations - questions such as: “ Are you seriously pregnant?”; “Why did
you two wait so long?”; “Was this a mistake?”; “Did you two plan to have a
child five years later?”; “What will you tell your son?”; “How will you prepare
him?”. These questions were popping up faster than I could process them, let
alone respond. I know (at least I want to believe) that many of these questions
came from a place of surprise and not malicious intent.
For years, most of us have been conditioned to believe that
couples should plan to have children within 1-2 year intervals and the fact
that I was having a child five years later was just wrong (in theory). So, when
I was questioned instead of congratulated, I couldn’t hold anyone’s words as an
action of the heart, but a mere shift in what their mind was programmed to
believe.
During my pregnancy journey, my husband and I explained (and
constantly reinforced ) to our son that the well of love in our home never runs dry no matter how large
our unit becomes. And, guess what, he was old enough and mentally mature enough
to understand our words and accept our
teachings.
When we welcomed our now 7 week old daughter, our son was
(and still is) her biggest fan. He was happy and proud that not only we have an
extra addition to our family, but he now has a new title, Big Brother – a title
that he owns up to in his actions. I’ve never seen someone so young be so
caring and compassionate – it truly warms my heart.
For anyone who has questioned whether or not it’s wise to
have significant age gaps between siblings, I’d like to think that I’m living
proof that it can work and work well.
The key is to remember that things don’t have to happen the
way that they are written in text books or shaped in the manner that we were
taught. If my husband and I planned our family based upon societal norms, we
may have missed out on an opportunity to hone in on our son’s inner leader characteristics
and lost the opportunity to add another love joy to our home and heart.
At the end of the day, we must do what we feel is best for
our own lives and let the results write the story for us to hand down to our
children and their children’s children.
*** This article was composed by Patrice Jones-Washington.
Its content is original work of the author.
